Friday, May 9, 2008

Performance Anxiety

It's weird....I've been a performer ALL my life..and I do mean all, yet it has only been recently that I get nervous about performing.

Dance in front of a packed stadium or arena? No problem.
Dance half-naked on national tv while the partners of your consulting firm look on? No problem.
Sing to a full house? No problem.
Piano recital? No problem.
Argue information systems strategy with Andy Grove in front of Stanford's best and brightest? No problem.
IPO presentation on sales and marketing strategy to investment bankers? No problem.

So, what's the freakin' deal with getting all anxious over racing? I mean really, WTH?

I noticed it significantly just prior to the marathon in Feb. And I'm really feeling it again now.

I didn't feel it before Spenco, but the Rookie has me all a twitter. I'm thinking about the goals I've set, but mostly I think it's about my perceived level of expectation from family, friends, my coach, etc. And I think I don't want to disappoint anyone...or myself.

I've focused on my run all winter, so I SHOULD be faster on the run.
Jack pimped by ride, so I SHOULD be faster on the bike.
I've been training hard, so I SHOULD be faster overall.
I SHOULD be ready to kick some ass. I SHOULD do better than last year.
I SHOULD, I SHOULD, I SHOULD.

What if I don't?

2 comments:

Jane said...

You WILL.

Lulu said...

You should. And you will. And if you don't - you learn your lessons and move on to the next one.

P.S. I didn't know you were a signer!!!